


Longing for the Forbidden

by SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms



Category: DanPlan, actuallyoddplan
Genre: Accidental safeword sort of, Alcohol, Anal Sex, Archaic terms for homosexuality, Background characters - Freeform, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Complete, Cuddling, Dan is a Fighter, Dan is straight with a tiny curve, DnD AU, DnD drinks, Dom Stephen, Dragons, First Orgasm, First Time, For one of them at least, Forced to come out, Getting Together, Heavy Swearing from Stephen, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Hosuh is Bi, Hosuh is a Cleric, How Do I Tag, I can't tell if Hosuh is the MC or if Stephen is so take it how you will, I had to make up Gods for this, If I keep tagging there will be too many spoilers, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, LATER, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Make-outs, Mentions of Sex, Necromancy, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pact magic, Pining, Ratings subject to change, Ribbon as a cockring, Safewords, Semi Slow Burn, Sexual Tension, Smut and Fluff, Stephen is a Warlock, Sub Hosuh, Swearing, Temporary Character Death, Unconventional DnD rules, Warlock Pacts, Warlock Patrons, Will be sex later, light angst at the beginning, mentions of bullying, mild bondage, more tags to be added as this gets updated, no beta we die like men, oh god the tags, semi canon compliant, sexual content to come, stephen is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:53:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22511287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms/pseuds/SillyNonnyFicsAreForFandoms
Summary: Hosuh had been a healer his entire life. He'd known from a young age that all he wanted was to heal people, even at his own expense. It had earned him the respect of a Healing Goddess, who bestowed otherworldly powers unto him to use for the sake of those he cared about and their protection. His friends, Daniel and Stephen, had been interested in his magic since they'd first seen it.But Stephen took the interest too far, making a pact with a being from the Nine Hells to obtain magic which should belong to no man. The power to resurrect the dead and control them, bending them to his will. And in the process, he'd locked himself away from Hosuh. He couldn't love him, not because he was they were both males, but because of the demonic influence on his friend. He needed to stamp these feelings away, to forget they ever existed, as he was sure his Goddess would forsake him.Even if it killed him inside.
Relationships: Hosuh Lee/Stephen Ng
Comments: 44
Kudos: 176





	1. The way of Life and blooming love

**Author's Note:**

> So. More Stosuh. I'm almost done with the entire fic, I'm writing the last chapter after I post this, so expect Bi-Weekly Updates with like a one-shot or something else getting updated in between. Hopefully, y'all will enjoy this! Thank you so much for reading!

Hosuh has wanted to heal and protect people for as long as he can remember. Ever since he was a child, he’d been fascinated with the idea of being able to heal others, to help them as best he could. His mother had taught him how to deal with wounds, how to help tend to those who needed his help. How to make medicine, how to stitch wounds and how to identify all forms of injuries. He never thought it would be much better than making him a town healer until he’d been chosen by a goddess of health at the age of ten. 

Even when he moved away from his homeland and across the sea less than a year later, he’d continued to learn. Though, mostly out of necessity due to the company he kept. Dan had an obsession with swords since they’d met, and Hosuh spent most of his time patching him up after an attempted adventure went wrong.

He recalled one time in particular, when a slime had found its way into the town they were living in and his friend had thought it a good idea to fight it himself. The slime was tougher than they thought it would be, attempting to attack him back with his own sword. The thought still made him chuckle; The slime had chased Dan all around the town until Stephen came to rescue them with a knife in hand. 

When he first moved to this town, he had been so shy that no one aside from his parents could get a word out of him. No one thought he’d make many friends, if any, at that time. He’d been reading out by the forest when some older teenagers had come by to bully him. He didn’t exactly recall what they said to him or what they did, all he remembered was being on the ground when a voice had been heard.

_ “Hey! Leave him alone!” _

_ “Leave him alone or I’ll fucking stab you!”  _

They’d all gotten beat up for their troubles, but Hosuh had been spared the worst of their intentions. He’d sat up, groaning as he glanced at the two alongside him. Gripping his holy symbol, a winged staff which his goddess had bestowed upon him, he’d sent a quick prayer to Her for them to be healed for their troubles. She’d taken pity on him, healing both of them to the fullest extent in reward for protecting someone within her blessing. Hosuh would never forget the look of pure confusion on their faces as a golden ray of warm light washed over their bodies, wrapping itself around their wounds to repair what had been done. The silverette had been nursing a sprained ankle and a broken arm for the next two weeks, Her blessing letting him heal faster than he would have otherwise. 

At that time, Daniel had to stop Stephen from asking a million questions, and they’d made themselves a friend for interfering where they had no need to do so. Stephen was enthralled with the idea of magic from that day forward, with their small town never having been graced with its presence or the blessing of Celestial or Abyssal being alike. Dan was sure that Hosuh was an angel for a week, what with his silver hair and dressing in white and pale blues as She wished he would, and it had taken an explanation of his abilities to show Dan that he was no such creature. Stephen still thought, from time to time, that Hosuh had been sent from the Celestial Plane itself, at least if his comments of  _ Hosuh _ and  _ angel face  _ when he was half asleep was anything to go by. 

Hosuh had many thoughts about his friends. First, Dan.

Dan was someone he looked up to, a lot. The fighter with a heart of gold, he knew that doing the right thing often meant putting himself at a disadvantage despite his experience with weapons. But he was also brash, as was evident by the time he once saw him fail to climb a tree three times in a row, resulting in a broken arm, just to get a kitten down from a branch. Said kitten had then jumped down and landed on his face. The jokes that resulted from this situation only made their interactions more personal. 

Dan had also taken a liking to Hosuh, watching over him as a big brother would despite being a few months younger. He’d taken the opportunity to take on the role that his own big brother, Elias, did for him. Elias and Hosuh enjoyed cooking together, spending their time helping as much as they could. They had a large garden center in the town where they taught the younger children how to care for a garden, both vegetable and flower alike. They tended to the trees and once a year, everyone came together for the first harvest with the farmers. 

Hosuh knew he’d always be welcome at their house.

When his parents took a trip to their homeland, leaving him alone in town as he was too sick for travel despite Her blessing. And thank goodness he did, as the night before his parents were set to return home, he received a message from his Goddess.

_ Hosuh, my child, I am so sorry for what happened. Your parents have been attacked and did not survive. I could not rescue them. Fate has been on your side, for your health and safety were assured. _

He’d cried all night, and from that moment on, his old house became as close to a church as their small town had. People came to worship and to thank the Gods for sparing even just Hosuh, they came to speak to him and ask for his wisdom on the Gods and their plan. He did not know, he never knew, and he never acted like he did. Hosuh wanted to cry whenever he thought of it, tearing up even now, the thought being too painful. He knew She didn’t intentionally let his parents die, but he couldn’t help the pit in his stomach. 

Elias and Dan had let him cry whenever he wanted, often dropping by his house to make sure he was okay. 

Then there was Stephen. Stephen was loud, sarcastic and had a flare for the dramatic. He always used knives as a preferred weapon, attacking anything and everything which bothered him. Mostly Dan. They’d gotten really good at running from Stephen, though they both knew that if push came to shove, he was the most loyal protector one could ever ask for. Once, shortly after they all met, the teenagers decided they wanted to apologize for their actions, but got angry once they saw them. Stephen had taken the blows for all of them, nearly dying to keep them safe.

Hosuh had joked that Stephen was their guard dog, barking loudly at whoever came knocking be it friend or foe. 

Stephen’s little brother wholeheartedly agreed with that sentiment, but he likened him to an irate cat instead. Wanting your attention one second, ignoring you the next or outright being mean to you. Everyone in his large family knew it, and Hosuh knew it too.

Stephen was loud out of necessity, because his entire house was loud. And yes, he was a bit full of himself, but if you were going to be stuck with yourself for your entire life, why not enjoy it? Hosuh used to think it a bit weird, but now he found it oddly charming as they each came into themselves.

He wasn’t going to admit it to anyone, least of all Stephen, but he wished at one point that someone would come into him. The thought made his face burn as he recalled the first time he realized that he might be into males at the age of thirteen. 

They’d all decided to go camping, and it had begun to rain. Their tent was ripped from having fallen off their pack when they were walking up the mountain, and Hosuh had been in the middle of casting a mending spell when the gods decided it would be for the best to open the heaven’s amount of rain. Their clothes were soaked through, Hosuh’s white robes going transparent as they hastily set up their tent. 

Stephen’s purple hair had been matted down by the rain, black shirt clinging tightly to his body as he loudly complained about the rain. Dan laughed at him, mentioning how he found it funny that despite prayers for clear skies, it rained nonetheless. Maybe the Gods hated Stephen, he often joked as they quickly changed into dry clothes.

At the time, Hosuh’s heart had been beating so quickly he was sure it would burst, staring directly at Stephen’s chest. He’d noticed violet eyes staring back at him, and immediately looked away. Somehow, Dan hadn’t noticed these, and pointed out how Hosuh should have been changing. 

The tent wasn’t large, barely able for two people to comfortably sleep without touching. While three teenagers weren’t particularly large, it was still small enough that they’d needed to sleep too close for Hosuh’s mentality to be alright. He didn’t recall who slept behind him or who slept in front of him, he only recalled not getting any sleep and spending the night praying to his Goddess for the strength to not say or do anything he would regret later. At one point in the night, a hand had wrapped around his waist and Hosuh still recalled the inhuman noise he’d made and the panic which had flooded his system. 

Now, he was a little better at keeping the panic to himself. Why, just the other day, Stephen had gotten far too close to him, their foreheads touching, and he managed to only scream about it  _ internally  _ for the rest of the day. Before, he was sure that he’d have screamed about it into his pillow for at least an hour. 

He was grateful that his Goddess was accepting of things like that, where he liked both boys and girls. 

And then, one day, the temptation to be drawn in by Stephen, held by him and pinned down and maybe other things like kissing was forcefully thrown out the window. He’d known Stephen was obsessed with the macabre, with death and the idea of resurrecting it. He’d always known that, but his Goddess allowed his feelings towards him so long as he never crossed into the taboo. In his domain of  _ life,  _ the dead were dead and they were his sworn enemies. But he’d never thought Stephen would ever go to the lengths he did to gain the power he craved.

Stephen made a deal with his Goddess’ demon lover from life in exchange for something he didn’t want to know. 


	2. What we do for power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I know it could be longer but I have some long chapters and some short, but they all come together in the end! Also, where the plot really begins :D

Stephen knew what he was doing, he wasn’t as dumb as some people thought him to be. His Patron had given him the power to resurrect the dead and control them as he saw fit; a power which had only been harnessed by the most uncontrollable of wizards. She sensed something darker in him than anyone else had, and upon their contract the words she spoke and the smirk on her face was something he would never forget.

_ I need to swipe you up before my lady’s little darling takes you out of reach. _

It took longer than he cared to admit to understand the extent of his power, when he accidentally blasted Dan with eldritch energy when the green haired teenager had said how well his older sister was looking. He may be just protective, and he was sure his younger siblings would agree, but as fun as blasting Dan was, he hadn’t meant to cause so much trouble for Hosuh who needed to heal their friend. He hated causing so much trouble for him. 

Still, it was worth it. It was worth making his contract for the overwhelming power in his body, sizzling and buzzing just under his skin. A side effect of his pact, he noticed, was that his desires had grown tenfold, until he found it hard to contain. Especially in his desire for another, a particular silver angel in his group which made his heart flutter.

He’d first noticed his feelings for the smaller man when they’d gone camping. It was a rainy day memory which would never fade from his mind, the way his robes clung to his body with damp cloth becoming clear as it came into contact with his skin. His white hair had come undone and was falling around his face in such an elegant way he would believe was crafted by the gods themselves. At the time, he had only thought about how he could see everything underneath his robes and dread how he would sleep that night. Dan had slept in front of Hosuh while Stephen slept behind him, so that way if someone were to attack, Hosuh would be the safest of them. He’d barely gotten sleep, his body reacting the way any male’s would if the most exquisite being in the entire universe were to be pressed up against them. Of course, he needed to pretend to be asleep, though he could only think over and over again about how amazing his friend was.

Even his siblings loved Hosuh. Everyone loved Hosuh. Even the older kids in their town loved Hosuh, after he’d saved one of them from near death with his magic. There was no one who didn’t like Hosuh in their village; the cleric was too cute and sweet for anyone to really hate him.

But damn, he wanted him. He wanted him so badly sometimes that he didn’t know what to do, or how to even think in his presence. But he also didn’t want Hosuh to hate him, and two guys being together wasn’t exactly commonplace or well accepted. There were spells, spells he  _ knew at that  _ which could convince him to do his bidding, and while he may occasionally use them on Dan, he couldn’t use them on Hosuh. He found out that his spells didn’t work on Hosuh, as long as he had his holy symbol on him, since their powers came from opposing places with relation. Thankfully Hosuh’s healing still worked on him, as his body was stuck in the mortal plane. 

He knew his patron should have no reason to visit him aside from new demands for him to meet. And today, as they reached a new town together, She decided she wanted to speak to him. How did he know? The tugging, burning feeling of his chest guiding him off into the woods, as if the leash around it had been pulled. 

With a swift excuse and a worried look from the love of his life, he went off into the woods alone.

Stephen only knew his patron as the She, or the Violet Lady. People had spoken of her for decades, her terrifying power leaking into the world. And she deserved the whispers of terror, her dark purple form staring at him from a space of burned grass. Her body was wrapped in smoke, magenta horns curling around her face as her fired eyes stared through his soul.

“Hello, Stephen,” She said with a wave, her claws shimmering in the fire created by her presence. Her voice was as velveted as he recalled, a tremor of curiosity as she sauntered around him.

“Hey. What the hell do you need me for now?” He asked with a growl, attempting to show her that fire she’d taken such an interest in when they’d met. Something about him had drawn her in, brought her to his village and she told him once that it was something about his mind, the lust for power and desire for violence which fueled her. 

“Oh, my request is something of little importance, but it is something only you can do,” Her words were cutting like a knife, pulling on his power, “And if you fail or refuse, I’m sure you know what will happen, little child.”

“Don’t fucking call me a child!”

Her body became inflamed, drawing him in as his body froze with the force of her power. Something wrapped around his body, pulling him in close until he was face to face with her. Sulfur filled his nostrils, arcane whispers echoing in his mind as her voice dropped into a language he could only barely recognize. Her form phased in and out of this mortal plane, fear inviting itself into his heart though he attempted to stay resilient.

“Did you forget? I OWN you!” The velvet was gone from her voice, the sound of screeching and gravel filling his ears until he gave in to her overwhelming power.

“Fine!” Stephen exclaimed, his breath returning as she released him, sending him skittering back against a tree. He could feel blood trickling down his neck, knowing Hosuh would have to deal with the damage later.

“Good. Now, I have a little request for you.” 

“What do you want?” He gritted out through bated breath, attempting to regain the steadiness he had before.

“You know that little angel you travel with?”

His blood turned to ice in his veins, the fear returning for a half second as he forgot how to breathe. He thought of Hosuh, the one he jokingly called an angel, and the thought of what she may have him do crossed his mind. She’d ordered him to kill before, as a piece of their deal meant she got all the souls of the people he resurrected and controlled, and all souls which his minions took. His body tensed, readying himself for her next words as he prepared to say goodbye to his power for the sake of the one he cared most about.

“I want you to take that innocence of his. See, his Goddess is having a festival in the heavens tomorrow, and as a result she will lose sight of her Clerics for the duration. For three days, her view is gone without moderation as her blessings remain. Do this for me, and I’ll allow you to keep your power until the day you die.”

The red arcane symbols which surrounded her hand forced reminicings of the day of their pact. A lasting promise sealed in blood, without the ability to lie. Stephen would be allowed to keep his promise if he took Hosuh’s innocence. He wouldn’t lie, the thought was incredibly tempting, but he had some questions first.

“Two questions. What kind of innocence are we talking about, and what do you get out of it?”

“His  _ virginity _ , darling. Fuck him until he can’t remember who he serves, or have him fuck you. I don’t particularly care. And what do I gain out of this?” She hummed, turning her gaze towards the town, then up towards the heavens with a smirk. “I get to brag, which means more than whatever pitiful favors I could gain from you in a thousand years.”

“Well, you don’t need to tell me twice. Sounds like a fucking deal.”

Now all he needed to do was convince Hosuh, which with a little luck, would easily go his way. 


	3. The temptation of confession

Hosuh had only heard his Goddess’s voice a few times in his life. The first time was when he was first granted his magical abilities at the age of ten. The second time was when She told him of his parents’ passing. 

Today was the third time. Her voice flooded his mind, warning him of Her festival and how his power may go unchecked for the time being. Normally, She’d never warn Her clerics of such a thing, but the fears of the Violet Lady doing something to Her cleric overwhelmed the sense of what was proper to do.

“I promise, Stephen would never do anything to hurt me,” He assured with a smile, brushing out his hair in the inn they’d rented. They could only afford two rooms, which only had one bed each, so two of them would need to share. Stephen was used to sharing his space, so he’d agreed to do so, but Dan didn’t trust Stephen’s magic not to go wild in the middle of the night. So that left Hosuh to share with Stephen in the room. The temptation was wild, he knew, but he had enough mental fortitude not to do anything to his purple haired friend. 

_ “My child, are you quite sure? I don’t want anything to happen to you whilst my back is turned.”  _

Her voice reminded him of his mother, a bit. She’d always been protective of her chosen people, keeping the numbers few and far between to those She could manage and care for properly. Every prayer had an answer, if they knew it or not, and every one was listened to. 

“I can handle him. He’s not the kind of person who would actively hurt me, you know that. You’ve watched over me since I was a little kid, you’ve seen how he acts towards me. He’s way too protective to try anything.”

There was a small bit of laughter from the two of them.

_ “That he is, my child. Hosuh, please, be careful still. I may trust in his mortal strength, but I do not trust his will against the Violet Lady. I must depart, but know my blessings and thoughts are with you, as with all my children.”  _

Hosuh knew he wasn’t actually Her child, but She referred to all Her clerics in such a manner. He felt the warmth which came with Her presence fade from his body, leaving a tingling feeling all across his body. Immediately, his thoughts drifted to his roommate without his permission. Falling back against the bed he groaned and grabbed the pillow, hiding his face in it as he recalled the image of Stephen from the other day when they’d been changing, his half naked form an alluring sight he desperately wanted to touch. His face burned as he curled in on himself, letting out a high pitched whine in embarrassment. Hosuh had suppressed these thoughts for so long, forced every sexual urge away as the thought of his Goddess watching him do such things unnerved him. Possibly… Possibly, while Her festival went on, he could try- 

No. No. No. Temptations, temptations, down to the Abyss they go. He sighed as he attempted to focus on anything he could think of aside from  _ Stephen Stephen Stephen  _ and the male anatomy in particular. Not that thinking of the female anatomy did much better, but at least there wasn’t a face in specific attached. 

“No! Bad thoughts!” He exclaimed into the pillow, trying to focus on whatever he could think of to make it stop before his friend returned. Then he recalled a spell he’d learned, and began to cast it as quickly as he could.  _ Calm Emotions.  _ His mind went blank, the blush receding as it washed over him and calmed his body’s reactions with a mask of indifference. 

Just in time, too, as Stephen stumbled in once the spell was complete.

“Hosuh, I really need some healing,” He sighed as he leaned against the wall, “Or a fucking bandage.”

“Huh? What happened?” Hosuh asked, motioning over for his friend to approached. His hair was disheveled, eyes unfocused and his skin pale and clammy as he fell forwards onto the bed. He pulled back the hood and saw blood coming from the back of his friend’s head and immediately set about his work, grabbing his medical set and searching for the origin of the wound so he could clean it and clear it of any obstructions. 

“My goddamned patron showed up and shoved me into a tree.” Stephen explained, wincing as his friend moved his hair. But he knew better than to interrupt him, as once they tried to heal a wound with an obstruction in it, only for it to heal into the wound and need to be removed again. They’d vowed never to let that happen again, so he laid still for him. As bad as it could be, the urge to squirm and move around when someone was poking around at his head, he knew better.

“I’m sorry. Ironically, my Goddess just came to speak with me.” Hosuh sighed, taking a cloth from his medical set and soaking it with antiseptic. 

“Wow, what a concept, a Goddess speaks with Her cleric- Ow! Okay okay I’ll shut up!”

Hosuh smirked softly as he pressed the cloth against the wound, his friend hissing in pain as he did. It was just something he needed to do to clean the wound, but making him stop was an added bonus. He wiped away the blood, sighing to himself while he made sure that Stephen was okay. He focused his energy into his hand, letting the energy flow through him into the necromancer. He’d never admit it, but he was more thankful his power worked on him than he was that it worked on anyone else.

He knew he could fall back on his technical skills, but he didn’t know if it would work in a worst case scenario. 

They sat in silence as he worked, his power connecting them in a way Hosuh had never thought possible. Like a warm feeling all over his body, intertwining them together. For a brief moment, their powers mingled in electric sensations spreading across their bodies.

“Are you done?” 

“Stay still for a second more, and I will be.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Hosuh!” Stephen exclaimed, pulling away as Hosuh rolled his eyes. Stephen never did what he was told, ever. Even when it was for his own benefit. Luckily, he always told him his healing would take just a second longer than it would actually need just in case he did something like this. 

He knew Dan was scouting out the town, asking the locals for information on any monsters nearby, and the temptation rose again. He didn’t want to betray his Goddess, but he was reaching a point he didn’t know what to do.

“Anyway; what did your patron want? I know She asks for some… odd things.” Hosuh mumbled, recalling the time Stephen had been forced to find a very specific corpse and raid it’s grave. Hopefully this wasn’t nearly as bad as that.

“I can’t tell you, not tonight.” Stephen admitted, laying back against the bed now as his head spun from the healing. Hosuh’s power always left him lightheaded, with a feeling of butterflies in his stomach for the next minute or so. But it certainly wasn’t bad, knowing Hosuh’s energy was with him. He couldn’t tell Hosuh what the Violet Lady wanted, not with his Goddess watching him. He was sure the smite which would befall him would be of legendary proportions, were he to admit to his intentions with him. Patience was never his strong suit, but for now, it was needed. And it would be worth it.

“Huh? Why not?”

“Reasons I can’t tell you.”

“Right. Just…” Hosuh reached over, placing his hand atop Stephen’s and watching his friend jolt, “Know I want you to be alright. I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt.”

“You’d heal me, that’s what you do. It’s what you have always done.”

“That’s true, but I really don’t want to use  _ Raise Dead  _ on you.”

“Since when did you know that spell? Are you trying to steal my niche, Hosuh~?”

“No! It’s just- The closer I get to my Goddess, the more spells I learn and that happened to be one of them. And besides, my spell only revives them, soul and all, but yours doesn’t work with the soul. It also is gonna use up that diamond I inherited from my parents.”

“So your spell lets them backstab you, but mine doesn’t. That makes mine vastly superior to yours~” 

“I don’t really care if it is or isn’t. I care that you and Dan are alive to make fun of me.”

“Right. Anyway, I’m going to go see Dan. Stay safe, Hosuh.”

“Stay safe, Stephen.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”


	4. The lower the bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooohhhh, a Daniel-centric chapter! Whooray!

As far as they knew, the town of Iudicium was as peaceful as could be. Dan heard, once, that there was a time when a dragon attacked, but it didn’t bother them as much as they thought it would. The fighter was sure that whatever it was, they could handle it together. Nothing could be strong enough that they couldn’t handle it, in his mind. While that may not be true, they knew they were stronger together than they ever were apart. 

And Dan, as much as he wanted adventure, missed girls from their village. Everyone in these towns seemed so out of his league. When he’d first admitted to this, the one who could pull him out of that mindset was Stephen. They’d known each other practically since they were born, what with the few amount of people in the village to make friends with. While Dan was a few months older than Stephen, that time was mostly meaningless in the long run.

Now it was time to repay the favor. Stephen was sitting in the tavern at the bar, having asked the barmaid, whom Dan had learned was named Bella, for a drink. The smirk on her face made him want to laugh, as he’d heard of the woman’s penchant for mischief whenever possible from Jenny, the singer. 

“Just give him a Honeydew.” Dan interrupted the woman before she could begin mixing, sitting down next to his friend, “I heard you gave a Phoenix feather to the last person who didn’t specify.” 

“Fuck off, Dan.”

“I’m just trying to help, man. Hosuh will kill us if we go and do something too stupid.”

Stephen laughed a little, mostly at the idea of Hosuh trying to kill them. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body; Though he desperately wished that would change. Maybe it was time to think seriously about admitting his feelings.

“He would never.”

“Anyway, why are you drinking so early?”

“Was debating on if I wanna bring someone up to my room tonight. Then I thought about the look on Hosuh’s face, laughed, and needed a drink.”

“Wonder if you could find a spell to turn Hosuh into a girl, then you could just bed him.”

Two guys being together was such an unheard of thought that the mere thought made Dan want to be sick. Such a disgusting thing, unnatural in nature, that he didn’t know what he would do if faced with someone in that way. His older brother, Elias, told him that he used to know a boy who found himself attracted to other boys, and Elias was the only one who didn’t shun him for it. 

_ “It shouldn’t matter what the body is, so long as both parties can agree on the relationship, it’s love. You wouldn’t look twice at an elf and a halfling going out together, would you? So why is it so weird when it’s just two guys or two girls?” _

He knew he shouldn’t judge, but he just couldn’t understand it for the life of him. Though… He wouldn’t deny having possibly felt an odd attraction to a blonde man back home. 

Stephen winced at the words, and while the idea was tempting, he quickly dismissed it. He’d seen women who looked like Hosuh, mostly elves with their silver hair and eyes in the silvered blue hue. But they’d never lit up the way he wanted them to when he made them laugh, he never heard the chorus of angels when they spoke and he definitely never heard that soft lilt in his voice whenever he spoke of something with awe. Nor did his heart beat faster at their touch, their cheeks flushed pink in the cutest way whenever someone mentioned anything having to do with sex. 

They weren’t Hosuh, no matter how much they looked like him. And even if Hosuh had a woman’s body, he would still be Hosuh and that was what mattered most.

“Right. Anyway, my patron wants me to do something that I’m not sure I can actually do.” 

Finally, his drink had arrived. He ignored the shocked look on Dan’s face as he reached over, taking the honeyed liquid filled glass and downing it as fast as he could. He wasn’t nearly drunk enough to deal with this yet.

“What’d She want you to do, Stephen? There’s not much you’re not willing to do.” 

“She wants me to do something to Hosuh. It’s not gonna hurt him, but his Goddess is holding a festival so She can’t watch over him or respond directly to his prayers like normal. But, in return, I can keep my magic forever with no further favors needed.”

“So, you’re telling me that She wants you to tempt him to do something while a Goddess can’t watch him in return for using magic forever. Coming from someone who can’t even use magic, I would do it if it’s not going to hurt him.”

“The thing is, it might completely ruin our friendship. And I can’t fucking tell him until after the festival starts either or risk being smote.”

“I still think you should go for it. Hosuh’s too nice for his own good, and if it will benefit you, he’ll probably go along with it. What is it anyway?” 

“I am not drunk enough for this.” Stephen called over the barmaid again, asking for something stronger this time. He knew he took forever to get drunk, his constitution resembled that of a young white dragon by his studies, and Hosuh’s was just behind him, though Dan’s was ahead of both of them. It took them both by surprise how many drinks he could handle in their last tavern excursion. 

The brown drink he was served resembled chocolate in scent, and he’d seen the woman add cream into it. It burned going down, his head swimming as it settled in his system. He leaned onto the table, a giggle escaping him as his vision swam.

“She wants me to fuck Hosuh.” He admitted, watching Dan’s expression change from amused to horrified before everything went black.

Dan jolted for a second, attempting to process what he had heard and the fact that he had a now sleeping friend laying limp against the bar. He looked at the barkeep, barely able to get his question out to her.

“What did you give him?”   
“Mandrake Liquor. It will either get you drunk as drunk can be or knock out cold. If he’d gotten enough sleep before, he’ll be up in less than four hours.”

Dan nodded, glancing back at his friend and sighing. Reaching over and hefted him up. While Stephen was tall and lanky, Dan had been training with his weapons enough that it didn’t really matter. Hosuh was even lighter, he knew from experience. He hoped, softly, that Stephen had been dead drunk and not known what he was saying, lying essentially. How would he even do that? Hosuh didn’t have the necessary parts to- 

He needed to stop thinking about it.

“Hosuh?” Dan called once he reached the door to their room, “Hosuh can you open the door?” 

“Coming!” 

The door creaked open a second later, Hosuh’s shaking form revealing itself. He looked pale, sickly almost, and his worry only spiked when he saw Stephen’s unconscious form.

“Is he okay?” Hosuh asked, his voice tight and raspy.

“Yeah. Just drunk as hell. Are you alright? You look sick.”

Dan walked in, lightly struggling to hold him steady as they lowered Stephen onto the bed, hearing it creek underneath the weight.

“I’m alright. I was trying a clairvoyance spell with those new components we raided in the last dungeon.” 

“Oh, cool! What’d you see?”

“... You don’t want to know.”

“Hosuh? What did you see?”   
“There’s a young red dragon on it’s way, and it’s angry. We have twenty four hours.”


	5. Is it better to know and not believe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's Valentine's day, and Valentine's is my favorite holiday, I'm gonna be giving y'all a double chapter update so this is 1/2

Dan needed time to process things. He’d never been the fastest at understanding what was going on, especially when it came to magic. Hosuh had once explained how his magic worked,  shortly after they’d first met, and it took him two days to fully process it. He knew Hosuh enjoyed checking the area around their location when they could, but he didn’t know that there was a possibility of something actually coming.

Today was that day. The day where something would happen outside of his control and he could do nothing about it.

They needed to evacuate the town. They needed to evacuate as fast as possible so they could make sure everyone was safe, and they’d fight the dragon. And they needed to wake up Stephen to talk about this. 

“What the hell do we do, Hosuh?!” Dan exclaimed, staring at the cleric who was shaking, tearing up and confused.

“I don’t know!” He exclaimed, before doubling over with coughing. He knew his Goddess’ power would begin to weaken as Her festival was prepared, warning him of what was to come without Her watchful eye. This wasn’t normal, and Hosuh knew it. However, as he stopped concentrating on his spell, the tension left his body rapidly. He felt Dan’s hands on him, holding him up as he reset. Note to self, do not use a concentration spell until She returns to his side. 

“Are you okay?”   
“I-I’m alright. I just need to be careful with my spells until my Goddess returns.”

“You don’t seem to be alright, okay? Please, if you need to rest then rest.”

“We don’t have that much time.”   
“I’ll evacuate the town, you rest. We’re gonna need you in top shape if we want to have a hope of beating this thing. We’ll fill in Stephen when he wakes up.”

“But-”

“No buts, Hosuh. Rest. You look like you need it.”

Hosuh sighed, but settled himself on the bed. “Fine. I’m going to prep some spells when I wake up, so please don’t worry about me.” 

“I’m gonna worry about you no matter what you say, you know that; you worry about us the same way. 

“I know,” 

He let out a soft giggle, already changing out of his robes. He had a different set of clothes to sleep in, only for when he knew he wasn’t going to wake up and need to run. For whenever he wasn’t camping, essentially, and he was happy that he had them. But as soon as he got the large shirt on over his head, he felt someone watching him.

“Dan, are you watching me?”

“Ach-! No. I’m just. Okay Hosuh I need to tell you something about Stephen. Apparently his patron wants him to do something to you.”

“Okay? Do what? Is it gonna hurt me?”

“She… wants him to bed you.”

“Bed me? I’m not a bed and he doesn’t have Polymorph?” 

“Hosuh- That’s not-”

Dan began to laugh, covering his mouth at the sight of Hosuh. Hosuh had never been the smartest person when it came to sex topics, especially so when it involved himself. As his parents died before they could give him that talk, it was up to his friends to inform him on such topics. Both Dan’s family and Stephen’s family had attempted to explain, but it wasn’t easy to explain to him. His wide eyes and innocent mind always made it hard to explain things, but they’d managed to get it through his mind enough that he had a basic understanding. But there was a time when a friend of theirs by the name of Jay had tried to make a joke, and Hosuh’s pure mind hadn’t processed it until two days had passed as no one was willing to explain it to him.

Hosuh was as pure as snow, in Dan’s own mind. Not that he’d ever voice it for fear of angering him.

“Anyway, I’m going to go warn the town. You rest and regain your strength, then we’ll get ready for the fight.”

“Okay, I’ll see you when I wake up?”

“See ya when you wake up, Hosuh. Sleep well.”


	6. The best wake up call in history

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 2 of the night! Happy Valentine's Day! (Note: I almost called this chapter "A DC 19 will save" But decided it was way too cheesy.

Waking up in someone’s arms was always an interesting experience, in Stephen’s memory. Sometimes it ended in regret, seeing a woman who always looked like Hosuh but never was and having to face the cleric after. Sometimes it was merely odd, seeing someone he’d never met before.

But today, waking up with Hosuh holding onto him, silver hair loose and mangled lightly, was an entirely new thing and Stephen didn’t know how to deal with it.

“What the fuck-” He whispered, staring down at his bedmate. Either the Gods or a demonic monster from the Nine Hells was tempting him, and he let out the oddest sound as Hosuh snuggled in closer to him. Halfway between a cat’s hiss and a yelp, though he wouldn’t ever admit it. 

“What sort of test is this?” Stephen asked, to no one in particular, as he glanced around the room. Not much had changed, but Hosuh’s holy symbol was resting at the end of the bed and the curtains were pulled back. It wasn’t facing towards the sun, but he could see the edges of a sunrise coming up through the glass, and questioned how long he’d been out for. Last he knew, he had about an hour until sunset, but now it was sunrise?   
Wow.

Hosuh let out a whine and shuddered in his sleep, his holy symbol glowing and Stephen knew what that meant. The Festival had begun. For the next seventy two hours, Hosuh’s power would be weakened and he could not commune with his Goddess, nor could he ask for Her assistance. He was free from Her careful watch, and that meant he could do as much as he pleased without as many repercussions. This was the time he had to act.

He knew Hosuh was a good guy, almost to a fault, and would certainly help once he knew the end result. But the gut wrenching feeling he got when he thought that it was just using Hosuh for his own benefit complicated things. Then, he thought of the power at his fingertips, and the thought went out the window.

Stephen pulled away from Hosuh, staring at the pale man who fell backwards. Licking his lips, the necromancer sat up and leaned forward over his friend’s unconscious form. He was going to do it. He was going to kiss Hosuh. This angel beneath him, asleep and unknowing. Maybe if he kissed him, then it wouldn’t bother him so much. Had Hosuh ever kissed someone before? Stephen didn’t know. The thought of someone else kissing  _ his  _ Hosuh,  _ his angel,  _ made rage surge through his body. How dare they? How dare they touch what was his? 

“Stephen?” A sleepy voice asked, pastel blue eyes looking up at him curiously. Their lips were just an inch apart, one move from either of them and they’d be kissing, “What are you doing?”

“I. Right.” Stephen pulled away, his heart racing. He wanted to kiss him, but Hosuh had a say in this too. He had the right to tell him no, and the feeling of possessiveness was too much. He’d gladly kill to keep Hosuh to himself, to keep him safe. He’d never felt this feeling before, it had only manifested within the last year, but the events of the last day only turned it up to eleven.

“Stephen. Were you about to kiss me?” Hosuh’s voice was hesitant, almost as if he was scared to hear the answer. Fear shot into Stephen’s core, knowing how revolting most people found the idea of two males kissing. Would Hosuh find him revolting? He didn’t used to think that Hosuh ever could, but now he wasn’t so confident. Still, he’d rather be honest with his friend and be shamed.

“Well, yeah.” 

He heard Hosuh shuffling behind him as he stared down at the floor. He was ready for Hosuh to scream at him, to hit and curse him immediately. Less so, Stephen was ready to say goodbye to his best friend in the whole world, for him to hate him and see him as the ugly dark creature he was. Something must be wrong with him, if the Violet Lady had sought him out. Verses someone like Hosuh, who was blessed by the  _ Gods  _ for his purity, he must be lower than dirt. Still, he loved himself despite these flaws. They didn’t have to love him or live with him for the rest of his life, he did.

A soft hand cupped his chin, a warm body against his back as his head was gently guided up and turned, meeting Hosuh’s in a soft, warm kiss. His breath stopped as Hosuh’s head tilted before pulling away, allowing him to see the red flush of his cheeks with embarrassment. 

“Y-You could’ve asked, you know. If you wanted a kiss.”

Stephen turned around, arms wrapping around Hosuh and pulling him down towards the bed with a smile. 

“So, I can ask for another?” He asked, hearing Hosuh yelp softly and watching as he began to squirm, “And another after that?”

“I… Mhm.” 

Stephen leaned down and hummed as he kissed at the exposed skin of Hosuh’s neck, relishing in the soft panting coming from his partner as he left a trail of kisses. 

“And tell me, Hosuh,” He whispered, blowing cool air into Hosuh’s ear once he reached it and smirking at the soft gulp it earned, “If someone else asked for a kiss? What would you do?”

“I don’t. Don’t want to kiss anyone except you.” He whispered, and though Stephen clearly heard his response, the temptation to tease him became far too strong. He knew that Hosuh got embarrassed easily, and just the slightest bit of teasing was enough to make him go mad.

“Hmm… Come again? Say it again, Hos. I couldn’t hear you.”

Hosuh let out a soft whine, reaching over to grip at Stephen’s arms. The shaking of his body was more evident now, his shirt falling off of one of his shoulders as he looked away. 

“I, uhm, I. I only want to. Uhhm.. Oh.. I wanna kiss you. Just you, Stephen.” The words were soft, but Stephen could feel the emotion behind them. He could push his limits, but when Hosuh was having a hard time speaking, he knew that was a boundary he didn’t want to cross. Pulling away again, he saw that Hosuh wasn’t looking at him, his shyness overcoming his honesty. 

“How long have you felt this way?” He asked, sitting up again though he kept his eyes on his partner. 

Hosuh curled in on himself, taking the pillow and hiding his face. His mind was fuzzy, trying to think of what to say. First, he’d woken up with Stephen looming over him, their lips about to touch. Next, he found out that Stephen had intended to  _ kiss  _ him, doing exactly what he’d been dreaming about since that camping trip. Then, he’d kissed him after the most awkward pause in his life. 

He’d admitted to his desire. He’d  _ kissed Stephen.  _ He’d never kissed anyone before, what with their town being so small and spending so much time in communion or researching medical techniques, he hadn’t had the time. Back where he used to live, he remembered his next door neighbor’s daughter tried to kiss him, but she’d never been able to do so. That had been his first, and- Fuck. He needed to respond.

“Y-You remember, uhm, uh, that camping trip when we were like thirteen?” He asked, pulling the pillow away from his face and looking up at him. Stephen’s face flushed lightly, but he didn’t look away. 

“Yeah, I remember that. The rain was horrible, huh?” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and help relieve some of Hosuh’s tension. It worked, at least, as Hosuh smiled and visibly relaxed, remembering that no matter what he felt, this was Stephen. Stephen was his friend, one of his closest friends, and even if they kissed, he wasn’t going to stop being that person. Funny, a little psychotic, death obsessed, fearless, and more. He was still Stephen, making jokes at the oddest times to make them happy.

With a nod, Hosuh sat up and reached over, placing his hand over the necromancer’s as he gathered his courage. 

“Yeah. Well, when we’d all ran inside the tent, I couldn’t stop staring at you. I didn’t know at the time what I really felt, but it was so weird. Agh, I don’t know, I just. I wanted to kiss you.”

Stephen smirked again, leaning back.

“Well, I know I’m amazing, but damn Hos! Though I’m not surprised, that’s when I realized you were hot too. God, I didn’t get any fucking sleep that night, and I entirely blame you.”   
“Wait, what? Why do you blame me?!”

“I don’t know, Hosuh, maybe it’s because you are one of the most beautiful things on this earth and you kept pressing yourself back against me? Maybe? Or could it be that you are too damn innocent for your own good and it makes me want to fuck you until you can’t even think?”   
“I- Was I pressing against you? Oh man I’m so sorry- I didn’t- I’m sorry-”

“Oh Gods, Hosuh, you’re so garbage,” Stephen sighed, though the laughter in his voice was undeniable. He just smiled at the end, relaxing slightly. Everything seemed to be alright, the two of them wrapped up in their own little world. “Anyway, did anything happen while I was out?”

Hosuh’s eyes went wide, and he suddenly pulled away with a yelp of  _ “Oh no I forgot-!”  _ as he fell back over the bed, his hair flying all over the place.

“What’d you forget Hosuh?” Stephen laughed, laying over the bed and watching Hosuh struggle to get back up.

“There’s a dragon coming! It’s angry and I was supposed to tell you when we woke up! But then I got distracted and the kissing and the confessing-!”

“Well dicks, Hos! I thought you were the responsible one! We need to evacuate the town and here you are sleeping and fucking around!”   
“Dan’s evacuating the town and I was fucking around with you!”   
“That is a not Hosuh appropriate word, Hosuh!”   
“I  _ am  _ Hosuh!!”

“Did I say you weren’t?! Huh? Huh?!” 

Stephen reached over and gripped Hosuh by the front of his shirt, temper flaring as he hauled him up. Hosuh wasn’t particularly strong, nor particularly heavy, so it wasn’t hard to pull him in close. 

“Okay! Stephen, Stephen, we need to prep against the dragon. It’s got like ten hours until it arrives so we need to prepare!”

“Ugh, fine.” Stephen released him with a roll of his eyes, “I’ve only got one question, Hos. What the hell are we now?”   
The color was returning to Hosuh’s face, the smallest of blushes as he let out a soft noise. What were they, exactly? He would call them lovers, but by the definition he knew, they didn’t count until they’d had sex. Partners? No, it fit Dan as well, as they’d all been a trio. But he wanted a word for it. A word he could call Stephen, something only he could call him. He remembered how his mother had come up with the silliest of nicknames for his father and himself, and before they’d moved away a child had attempted to call him by her nickname for him. She’d not been happy about it, not in the slightest, but he would never forget the explanation.  _ “Sometimes, when you love someone, you call them silly nicknames. Those nicknames are personal, something that only that person should call you.” _

He wanted that. It may be a selfish desire, but he wanted to call Stephen his.

“I don’t know. Maybe… Sweethearts? A couple? Are we courting now?”

“That sounds so official. Technically we’re a couple, but sweethearts sounds way too nice. Are we gonna tell Daniel?”

“I’d like to tell him. It’s not right to keep something like this from him.”

Stephen leaned up and kissed Hosuh softly, quickly jumping off the bed immediately after so he could get his items ready for the fight. He’d taken half of their potions, for the times when Hosuh didn’t have the energy to heal them or when he couldn’t get to them. Dan had the other half, from his recollection, but he did want to get everything in order.

“Sure, we can tell him. After we beat the dragon, so that way, if he ends up hating us for it, then we already have his help in beating the damn thing.”

“Wait, why would he hate us for it?” 

Stephen had to fight the urge to facepalm, staring at his bag as he rummaged through it.  
“I don’t know if you know it, but we’re called arrenomanes, though I guess modern people would call us sodomizers. It’s a derogatory term to refer to guys who like guys, and lots of people think we should be dead because of it. They think we’re unnatural, or we’re tempted by demons to do what we do.”

“But the Gods don’t care. If it were a grave sin, I wouldn’t be allowed-”

“You know that, Hos, and I know that. But the more people who know about it, the more shame that will be brought to your Goddess. People will think She’s crazy, allowing you to worship her or even live. Everyone thinks they’re like me, or a creep who will take their kids.”

“That’s… Stephen, I’m sorry.”

“Its fine. I don’t particularly care. You know me, if someone decides they wanna fuck with me, I’ll fucking kill them and make them my minion. And if they decide to try you, you can just unleash a plague of locusts on them if I don’t get to deal with them first.”

Hosuh walked over to where his partner was sitting, leaning over and draping himself on his side as he brushed aside soft purple hair. They locked eyes for half a second and gingerly brought their faces together, feeling the pleased hum from Stephen as their lips touched. He’d had a taste, and it was foolish to let a starving man have only a single bite of a feast. The need for more, the selfish want to pull him in and kiss him again and again until they’d made up for all the time they’d lost in their senseless pining was quickly overwhelming his virtues as a fire lit inside him.

His free hands began to wander, feeling over his chest and down, down towards his pants.

“Mnn… Hosuh- C’mon. We need to stop. We can do this after the dragon is dead,” Stephen protested, forcing himself to pull away from the needy angel.

“Sorry, I’ve just. Never done this before? This morning was my first kiss and now I can’t stop myself. I need to relearn some control, but I’ll get better at it soon.”

The look of self judgement on his face made Stephen’s anger begin to boil, frothing and swirling. How dare he judge himself for his lack of experience? How dare he think he needed to make himself stop now?

But he couldn’t say that. It would only scare him.

“No, it’s fine. Once the dragon’s dead, we can do more. I can show you everything that you’ve missed out on and so much more, m’kay?” He smirked as Hosuh’s face went bright red, nodding and leaning away. 

“You’ve done it before?” Hosuh asked, his insecurities rising.

“Once or twice. I’ve got more experience with just doing whatever the fuck I want. I’d be lying if I said that I’ve never sucked dick, though.”

“O-Oh. Why would you want me, then? You’ve got experience.”

“Because I always imagined them as you. Always.”   
“Then why go after me now? You’ve never been one to not go after what you want when you want it.”

“Well, I gotta tell you something.”

“Hm?”   
“My patron wants me to fuck you on top of everything. I don’t know why, but even if She didn’t, I would have still kissed you.”   
Hosuh’s expression was indescribable, a mix of confusion, hurt, and understanding. Sometimes, his Goddess would require him to do things on Her behalf, and so he did. But She never gave him anything he didn’t want to do. 

“I believe you,” He admitted, just as a smile spread over his face, “And I really want to. To do that with you.”

Stephen opened his mouth to respond, just in time for Dan to bust open the door with a yell.

“The town’s been evacuated, let’s go meet the dragon!!”


	7. Fighting for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh. Hopefull y'all don't hate me after this chapter; I promise there's a happy ending!

Hosuh detested battles. He’d always hated fighting, as long as he could remember. From the smallest of scuffles to the deepest of dungeons, he’d never enjoyed causing harm. Be it monsters or humans, he couldn’t stand the sight of blood and he never had been able to. He’d been dreading the dragon fight since he remembered it, knowing that there was a chance they wouldn’t make it out alive. 

They’d left the town in favor of tracking the monster down, so as to lesser the danger the village would be in. They’d never seen a dragon, not in real life at least, and they didn’t know what to expect. Dan had heard a dragon’s color meant it’s elemental power once, and while they didn’t know if it was true or not, they weren’t taking any chances. A plan was formed, with Hosuh’s create water spell being at the forefront. If fire was his element, then surely, water would be its worst enemy. And with a vial of holy water he could replicate ad infinitum, it would be more effective. Then, while he held the monster in a bubble of water, his teammates could attack freely against it. Magic and weapon alike combining into a powerful attack, the likes of which it could not defend. 

But they hadn’t gotten the chance. 

The monster had ambushed them before anyone could cast a shielding spell or set up a temporary barrier for protection, and Dan had suffered great burns. While Stephen rushed over and forced a potion down his friend’s throat, Hosuh took the opportunity to cast his spell. Instantly, storm clouds gathered as his chest tightened, the drain on his mana more than he expected as his holy symbol began to warm. 

The great beast roared, rushing forward as it completely ignored Hosuh. It rushed over, bypassing him completely as its wings flourished, head coming down to strike his weakened friends. The bite missed, but it’s claws lashed out and pushed the warlock and fighter away from itself with a screech. Blood coated the white claws and Hosuh’s heart stopped, seeing his friends thrown across the field. His body reacted before he could think, deftly avoiding a bite from the dragon as he slid over towards his friends.

“Stephen! Dan!” He exclaimed, his hands glowing with warm magic energy over their limp bodies. His prayers would not be answered, a wish for protection for his friends. Tears gathered in his eyes, remembering the times they’d spent together. From when they first met, up until that moment, it flashed before him as he poured everything into his healing. When he could usually cast spell after spell, he felt it fade faster than ever before. Like a pit opening itself inside him, he watched as their wounds closed, their bodies wrapped in golden light as it even repaired their clothing and washed away the burns. 

“Please don’t die,” He whispered, begging the Gods or Demons or whoever may be listening. His own life was forfeit in favor for theirs, and he felt rage well within him.

It was the dragon’s fault. The scent of sulfur reached him and he felt like gagging as he stood up, turning to face the ferocious beast. Hosuh ran up towards the creature, leading it away from his friends. It swiped at him with its claws, forcing him back with less vigor than it had before. It gave chase, and Hosuh screamed at the pain spreading across his chest, blood tainting the white wool of his robes.

The energy which usually flowed through his body, filling him to the brim with holy energy and power fell away. He knew spells would be harder to cast, would take more energy away from him than usual, reducing him to only able to cast a few spells. But he didn’t care. As long as he had the energy for one spell, and he didn’t die before it finished casting, he would be fine with whatever happened to him. His friends would be alive and wake up in around thirty seconds.

“Come at me, dragon,” He whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. On shaky legs he stood, only to be pinned back down onto the ground by a massive claw sinking into his body. Straight into his stomach. His mouth filled with a metallic taste as he was blood filled his lungs. He stared up at the face of the monster as it loomed over him, it’s hot breath washing over him.

_ “Kkyeo-jeo!”  _ As the words left Hosuh’s mouth, white hot energy spread through his body. The creature vanished into another plane of existence, and the pain set into him. As if he was a tethered rope, bound taught as it frayed in his mind. Searing agony tore through him with the ferocity of a raging beast as he fought for concentration. It screamed and roared, fighting his concentration as he felt his body weaken.

_ Ten Seconds. _

He could do this. Breathe. The pressure began building, the tips of his fingers beginning to numb as he struggled to keep his breathing even.

_ Twenty Seconds. _

His body shook as he forced himself to sit up, an empty feeling opening up in his gut. It shot through him, blood seeping into his clothes as he rapidly lost blood. There was ringing, though he didn’t know where from.

_ Thirty. _

He couldn’t lose concentration. Tears spilled from his eyes, the taste of iron filling his mouth as he wheezed and coughed, red tainting his vision as it soaked his chin. Everything in his body told him it would go away if he just let it go, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. Dan and Stephen would die if he did.

_ Forty. _

“Hosuh?” Someone’s voice made its way to his ears and he wanted to look. He desperately wanted to look. “Where’s the dra- Oh Gods!! Hosuh! Stephen wake up!” Excruciating electric shocks shot through him and a wet scream was torn from his throat, muscles tensing as he jolted and fell back to the ground. 

_ Fifty. _

Burning agony. Every nerve in his body was burning. Don’t stop. Can’t stop. No. Don’t. He wanted to beg for death, to make the pain stop as burning shifted into icy nothingness, his vision swimming in front of him as the figures of his friends swirled in front of him. If he stopped, they’d die. He couldn’t.

_ One minute.  _

The burning was gone, and in its place, ice remained. Before he was overcome with darkness, resigned to his fate of death, he smiled.

His lips moved without his voice, a soft goodbye to the people he cared about most. A second family, who’d been there from day one to comfort him and care for him when he needed it. Dan, who’d listened to his cries as he heard the tragedy, who sat with him and laughed to cheer him up.

A lover. Someone he never thought he’d be able to have, to love and hold and kiss and call his own, only for his last day to be the day he achieved it. Stephen had made many mistakes, as everyone did, but the lifetime of time spent together only pulled them closer. He’d seen him mature into an amazing person, someone he was afraid to say goodbye to. Would he move on without him? Probably. Stephen could have anyone he wanted.

But he wanted Hosuh. And that thought, the feeling of being wanted, warmed him as the tension left his body and his vision faded to black.


	8. For one more day with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here we are. God of Death has made an appearance! Next chapter, on Monday, will be Stephen and Dan's POV of this whole thing.

Everything was dark. A world of blackness, with a man standing over him. A hand of bones gripped at golden scales, and the hooded man knelt down.

_ “Ah, you’re one of the Silver Queen’s followers, aren’t you?”  _ He asked, his voice echoing in his head. At the name of his Goddess, Hosuh looked up at him. Where was he? The last thing he knew, he was fighting against a dragon, then pain… Was he dead?

“Who are you?” He asked, staring at the man. He barely recognized his own voice, reverberating all around him in echos. The man had pale skin, almost pure white, and black hair which fell down in tendrils around his face.

_ “My name is not important, young one. Why have you come to my door? Her followers rarely turn to me at such a young age.” _

Why was he here? Where was here? Glancing around, he saw nothing which would tell him where exactly he was. His arms wrapped around his body and felt the empty pit in his stomach. Right. He’d been stabbed by a dragon. 

“Wait! Where’s Stephen and Dan? Are they dead?”

The man laughed softly, his towering form staring down at him. He seemed familiar almost, like an old friend he hadn’t seen in years.

_ “They’ve not yet visited my realm. Your quick thinking saved them from this plane.” _

A sigh of relief fell from his lips, tension leaving his body. Thank goodness. If either one of them died, he didn’t know what he would do. Still, a feeling of guilt crept into him; he’d left them. He’d died and left the two of them alone without him. He’d seen them fight, their personalities meshed together in such a cacophony it was a surprise they’d been friends in the first place. It was likely they’d be at each other’s throats already.

“Can I see them?” He whispered, and the man seemed confused. His head tilted slightly, almost staring through the dead man.

_ “You won’t be staying here for long. The Silver Queen has granted you Her protection. You could become a God yourself, be brought back or become Her avatar.” _

Hosuh shook his head, a smile on his face.

“No, I died. As sad as it makes me to think that I’m dead, I don’t need to come back. I had my chance at life and I’ve made my peace with that.”

_ “You don’t seem particularly scared, young one.” _

“I died protecting people I care about. They’re my family, and even if I feel different about Stephen than I do Dan, they’re equally important to me. So… I can die happy.”

_ “Would you mind elaborating for me?” _

“I love them. Dan is my family, like a brother and if that love is less valuable than my love for Stephen, I think that’s wrong. We aren’t blood related but I would gladly die for either of them, because those bonds are part of what makes me who I am. If you’re going to die for something, it should at least be for someone you love or something you believe in, don’t you think?”

_ “It’s been many years since I’ve heard such words from a human in my domain, young one. I can see why She chose you. You remind me so much of Her in life,”  _ His hands reached out and gently patted at Hosuh’s head, brushing away his silver hair from his face.  _ “Even down to her hair. So sweet. And you’ve even chosen your own Viola.” _

“Viola? Who’s that?” 

_ “She is the patron of your dear Stephen. Let us hope you do not befall their fates.” _

Hosuh wasn’t going to ask further. He knew his place in the world was not to ask these questions, for if She wanted him to know, he would know. 

Two shimmering figures appeared from the darkness, and Hosuh’s breath stopped short. The short woman’s dark hair, braided over her shoulder and her bright eyes, he knew them well. The man’s kind face and deep laugh lines, the vibrant blue eyes. He hadn’t seen them in so long. Not since they left for a journey across the sea.

“Mom… Dad…” Hosuh whispered, reaching his hand out to them. Mere inches away from them, his hands stopped. They were dead. He was dead. He could finally see them again.

_ “If you wish to remain deceased, then all you need to do is take my hand,”  _ Said the God of death next to him.

He was going to miss his little town.

It wasn’t much, but he knew he was going to miss it all. Miss breathing in the fresh countryside air, reading in the fall sun as the leaves fell down around him. Stephen would always sit next to him, and they’d read to the little kids in the village while Dan acted out the stories with their siblings. It wasn’t much, but it always made him smile to think about it. He’d miss gardening and cooking, the smells of every different food he could create. 

He’d miss watching Dan come up with the silliest of scenarios, wanting them to be ready in case of every last eventuality. The way he’d always laugh along with whatever they did and tried to be moral about everything even if there was no reason for it. He’d miss how Dan always knew what to say to make him feel better, even if he knew it wasn’t true or worth it. And, even if he didn’t admit it, he’d miss his stupid pranks as he knew they were in jest.

He’d miss the way Stephen’s hand would brush against his own, his heart jumping in his chest as he wondered what could be. He’d miss how he always found a weird solution that just screamed of his personality and it somehow worked for him. How, despite a cold exterior, he had a warm heart. More than once, he’d woken up with his head pressed to the necromancer’s chest and he knew better than to mention it. Despite the way he threatened to maim and murder, he was actually good with kids and fought to protect them, as they were the future of the world.

And only the Gods could stop him if someone hurt his siblings.

_ “Ah, you’re crying.”  _ Said the man, and Hosuh’s breath hitched as he realized he spoke the truth. When had he started crying? But now he couldn’t stop, thinking of what he was leaving behind in the mortal plane. He wanted to see them, to hold them and to say goodbye and even if he still died, he wanted to protect them from this side. In any way he could. To help them and watch them move on without him so they could live. 

But that was a mountain, and he was just a man. 

He couldn’t go back.

And it crushed him to think that they would be hurting and he wouldn’t be there to heal them. Even if he couldn’t love them, or they didn’t know who he was anymore, or any of that, he’d take it. He’d take whatever punishment the Gods wanted to give him for just one more day with the two of them. 

Humans were selfish, they were born selfish. Wanting food, attention, love, or even the impossible. One day would become two. Two would become three. Days turning into weeks, weeks to months and months to years. When would enough be enough? Hosuh knew he was selfish, but when would the Gods’ tolerance with him run out? 

Despite the clenching of his chest and the tears blurring his vision, he looked up at the man.

“I… I’m okay. Sorry. I’m ready to go.” He whispered, glancing at his parents with a sorrowful stare. “I’m ready to go home.” 

He felt warmth spreading over his body as his parent’s arms wrapped around him, holding him tight and close to their bodies. He was at peace, their comfort all around in saccharine heat, the last of his tears falling before he faded from the plane known as limbo.

It was time for him to go home. 


	9. The longest Day of our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! I'm here to warn you that this chapter and the next both have some homophobia on the side of Dan, but it is resolved with some misunderstanding. If that is something that makes you uncomfortable, you can skip this chapter and about halfway through the next, and I'll put a mark for those of you who are uncomfortable with the topic.

Stephen knew how to work with corpses. When it came to his power, he had to know about the human body to make the most of it. But this was something he'd never seen before. 

Dan has forced Hosuh to drink all the health potions they had, the wound closing rapidly as Stephen attempted to harness his spirit. The Violet Lady took the souls of all beings he controlled, but Hosuh wasn't moving. Spell after spell he cast, but there was no answer. Through tears he stared at Hosuh's lifeless form, the two he'd left behind screaming for him to wake up.

"Why isn't this working?!" Stephen exclaimed, pulling the cold body close and choking on his tears when his magic failed to take again. 

"St-Stephen… I think he's gone." Dan whispered, only for a blast of arcane magic to sear the ground next to him. 

"Don't say that! If he were gone I would be able to rez him or-- or talk to him or something! But it's not working! Why isn't it working?! We can't just leave him, Dan!" 

Dan knelt down next to his friend, unable to do anything about the situation. His best friends were there, one was dead and the other, whom he'd never seen cry before, was sobbing over his corpse. And there was nothing he could do.

"I know you care about him, Stephen, but if this is all over your power then-"

Amethyst eyes met emerald, filled with the rage of the nine hells as Dan had never seen before, even with all the times they had fought. 

“Don’t you fucking dare insinuate that I’m doing this for power! I- I fucking… I love him. I never even got to tell him that!”

“I love him too, he’s like a brother to me, but that doesn’t mean we can cling to his dead body!”

Another blast of energy came, burning a hole into the ground next to Dan. But he couldn’t back down now, Hosuh wouldn’t want that. Even as he was crying, he knew this wasn’t what needed to happen. They couldn’t fight like this. Hosuh would be trying to stop them from it at all costs, using his magic to physically force them away from one another or to speak truths and only truths to one another. He hated doing it, but he did.

“You don’t understand, Daniel! Fuck off!” Stephen yelled, pulling the cold body closer.

“I want to understand, Stephen! But right now, Hosuh’s dead and we need to- to… bury him.” His breath hitched, hands shaking as he began to cry in ernest.

From the smoke which befell around them, a figure appeared. Its long black robes flowed like mist beneath its feet, its face masked by a hood. 

“Hello, young ones.” He said, causing the adventurers to jump slightly. Stephen forced himself up and away from Hosuh’s body, standing next to Dan who drew his sword.

“Who the hell are you?!” Stephen yelled, readying another blast for whatever entity appeared before them.

“What do you want?” Dan asked, his voice wavering in its usual stern tone. 

“I’ve come with a gift. Your friend, Hosuh, he has traversed through my realm and I have decided upon his fate. The follower of Viola will have noticed his inability to manipulate his body, as I had taken it under my protection until a choice was made.”

“Your domain?” 

“That means you have Hosuh’s soul! Don’t make me fucking blast you!”

“That is not your choice. It never has been. I’ve come to speak with you both on behalf of your friend. This is my order onto you both; protect his body until the sun rises tomorrow, as his soul returns from my domain, and he will be safe. If harm comes or his body is moved from where it rests now, he will never be allowed to return and will ascend to the celestial plane as ordered by the Silver Queen.”

“And who the hell are you?” 

“I am the Judger of Souls, Lord of the dead. My name is not important, but I assure you that I know who you are. Daniel, you have sent many creatures to my realm. And Stephen…” His hood fell back, and Stephen’s eyes went wide. He’d seen this man before, haunting his dreams and nightmares alike.

He’d stolen many, many souls from him.

“I’m sure you know me.” The God laughed, a smile on his face as he did, “I do not part with souls easily, as you are well aware, so do not take my words lightly. My time grows short on this mortal plane.”

“Then go away, I don’t want to deal with you. Just give me my Hosuh back.”

“Wait what do you mean by  _ my Hosuh _ , Stephen?!”

“Ignore Daniel.”

“No, don’t ignore me! Are you an arrenomane, Stephen?”   
“Why do you care?!”

“Because I have to travel with you and if you are, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you near Hosuh!”

“He is too, you- Ugh, have I told you that you’re garbage recently? Because you’re fucking garbage.”

“Hosuh is way too damn pure to be anything like you! If you’re an arrenomane, then that’s why you were chosen by demons and Hosuh by Gods!”

Stephen wanted to stab Dan. Demons had many reasons to pick him out from a crowd, but in the end, he’d sought them out. He’d learned their language and conversed with them through dark spellcraft learned through even darker means he dare not speak of. But by being an arrenomane, an archaic term meaning obsessed with boys, all other aspects of him were routed back to that. He’d known this since he told his mother, days before they left on this adventure, and she’d embraced him with open arms while warning him of how others may react. 

“Just because I’m attracted to guys doesn’t mean you’re in any danger, Daniel. I have standards, ya know.”

“Wha- I- Stephen, that’s so- Hey, back away from Hosuh!”

“How about this then; we wait for Hosuh’s spirit to come back and we ask him what he thinks, okay?!”

“Fine!”

“Good!”

This was going to be a long, long day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is a little short, coming below my usual 2k chapter standards, so I'm gonna ask you guys. Do you think I should do a double upload today?


	10. Here in the garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh. Second upload of the day? The previous chapter was a little short and so after a lovely comment, thank you Eeee, I decided to upload the next chapter. We're almost at the end now!   
> The mark for where you can skirt past the homophobia is when you see the bold "Don't you dare!" line

They knew exactly when Hosuh was coming back as they saw his spectral form coming over the hill in the darkness. His spirit glowed white, walking over the land. He looked unharmed, and when he saw them, he ran up as fast as he could towards his friends.

“Hosuh! Thank the Gods you’re back,” Dan said, just as Stephen had to hold him back from touching the spirit. 

“You can’t touch him! Do you want him to be taken away from us?! We gotta wait until sunrise!”

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

_ “Oh man, what did you two do while I was gone?” _

Hosuh’s voice was softer than ever, a mere whisper where once words formed. He’d stopped short of the two of them, his hair elegantly falling over his shoulders with no physical ribbon to tie it back with. He was still transparent, but it was shimmering with glittering silver light inside his body.

“Hosuh, Stephen’s an arrenomane! I don’t fucking know what to do!”

“I told you! Just because I like guys-”

“Don’t you go pulling that card!”

“I would never fuck you.”

“I wouldn’t want you to! It’s disgusting! Let me go!”

“No! You’ll end up tripping over Hosuh’s body and it will ruin this whole thing!”

_ “Is being attracted to guys so bad?” _

Dan’s stare at Hosuh was incredulous as he stared through him, thoughts racing as he processed. Had Hosuh just said what he thought he said?

“Yes! By the Gods, Hos, I know you don’t know that much but it isn’t natural. If the demons wanted him, then it’s obviously bad!”

Stephen wrestled Dan to the ground, using his larger body to hold him there despite Dan’s superior strength. He didn’t need spells to keep him from hurting the other; they’d been doing so well until then, sitting in silence or avoiding the topic entirely to keep from getting into a physical fight. The last thing they needed was to have it all ruined now. He couldn’t lose him, not when there was hope for a second chance.

_ “The Gods don’t care though. I mean, I’ve loved Stephen for years now and they didn’t cast me away to the Nine Hells.” _

“Hosuh, there’s a big difference between the way you love someone and the way Stephen loves guys. You love them like family,”

“Don’t tell him how he gets to love someone!”

_ “I… Don’t love Stephen like family. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone as much as I do Stephen, but I love him. I love him more than I can say, but I also love you, Dan.” _

Dan’s sneer was coming back, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of someone having a crush on him. Hosuh’s eyes rolled, shifting the weight of his non existent body onto his right foot.

_ “Not like that. Daniel, you’re like a brother to me. You always have been, and the thought of kissing you in a romantic sense makes me feel sick. You wouldn’t want to kiss Elias, and I don’t want to kiss you. I’m sure Stephen wouldn’t want to kiss his brother,” _

“The thought literally makes me want to kill myself after being sick for the rest of eternity. Hell no.”

_ “See? People love in so many more ways than we can ever understand, and it’s okay to not understand it. I like girls too, but I’m allowed to like guys as well.” _

As Dan’s body relaxed, Stephen’s grip did too. Dan wasn’t the kind of person to deny someone’s right to live, so while he was in control of his emotions the danger level was significantly lower.

“So, Hos, you’re telling me that… The Gods don’t care?”

Hosuh’s ghostly form nodded, kneeling down to meet his friend at eye level as he sat up.

“That’s… Gonna be hard to understand. I’ve been told by lots of different people that it is wrong and disgusting and all these other things. But if they really don’t care, then it’s not wrong. I don’t- I don’t get it. I’m so confused.”

“You don’t have to understand, Dan. I never asked you to understand. I still want to be your friend, and I’m still the same Stephen you’ve known since we were little kids. And Hosuh’s the same stupidly good person we know and love. Just because we love him differently doesn’t mean we love him any less.”

_ “And I love both of you. I literally banished a dragon to a subplane of existence to keep both of you safe when it was pure agony, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat for either one of you.” _

**“Don’t you dare!”** Their harmonious demand brought on a bought of racoutious laughter. Suddenly, they felt like they were kids again, having just outrun the older teenagers by climbing up into a tree where they couldn’t see them. And Dan would pull them in for a close hug, bursting out laughing which made the other two laugh along with him. They’d stay in that forest until the rain began, when they’d hide in a nearby cave until Elias came to find them and bring them home where there’d be hot food waiting. 

But they were already home.

_ “Right. Oh! Guys, the sun is coming up; make a wish!” _

“That’s only on New Years, Hosuh.”

“No, Dan, some soldiers wish on the sunrise. So Hosuh’s justified. But, hmm, what could we wish for? We’re already getting Hosuh back, so there’s nothing else we could want.”

“How about a sense of humor for you, Stephen?”

“Oh haha, very funny for someone within blasting distance!”

“You haven’t managed to hit me with your last three, I’m not that worried.”

The myriad of colors bled together as the sun rose on the second day of the Silver Queen’s festival, a flash of white crossing the horizon as the spiritual plane and the mortal plane met together, mixing for a brief moment as the wind howled. The white ghost of Hosuh faded into nothingness, his body glowing. Color returned to the silverette’s cheeks, chest moving minutely as he breathed. 

Dan reached over to try and rouse Hosuh from the sleep he lay in, only for Stephen to put a hand over his arm.

“He’s going to need some time to get his strength back. Coming back from the dead is a bitch, let him rest.”

“The ground can’t be that comfortable.”

“Then you carry him back to the village.”

“Okay, I will.”

The walk back to the village was a long one, but the silence was good. It let them think as they travelled. Dan knew that there were some things he needed to think about, needed to talk to his friends about as well. Were Hosuh and Stephen… Together? Courting? Do all people who are attracted to the same sex think the same way?

Obviously not, he’d only rarely seen Hosuh agree with Stephen in all the years they’d known each other. But he didn’t know if there was something he could do to apologize for how he’d acted. No matter how much he didn’t understand or how disgusted it made him, his actions were deplorable and he knew it. He had no right to judge someone else’s lifestyle, and it was his fault for what he said and did. There was no excuse and he wasn’t going to make one. 

It was his fault. It was his responsibility to make amends for his actions. But he didn’t know how to even begin to do such a thing, other than let things go how they had been before. They were the same people as they were before he knew, but now he knew. Why should that make them any different? 

Why did things need to change?

Dan knew why they needed to change. Because people changed. Opinions changed. Life and love grew and blossomed into a garden full of colors, only for winds to blow away the delicate blooms in a maelstrom of turmoil. They’d plant new flowers, and it may seem the same to those unaware, but it never would be again. Those had withered and died in a storm, and Dan was the one who made the winds howl and the storm come. Never again would they bring joy to all those who viewed them, until something new replaced it’s home in their garden.

It was his fault. But he could take the first steps in repairing the field, cleaning away the damaged plants and offering seeds of new growth to the people he cared about. Things stayed the same, and things changed. If he didn’t water the flowers and give them their proper treatment, they would wither and die, unable to withstand the effort of forcing themselves into unwilling soil.

The garden was a community, a system built to bring joy and uplift those who lived there.

Sometimes, when storms came, there were parts of the garden which were left dead, smothered and choked away through circumstance.

_ It’s horrendous. It’s ruined!  _ Some would cry, finding their flowerbed irreparable on their own. 

_ But your lilies are still here, aren’t they?  _ Whispered a friend’s voice, soft and sweet as if wrapped in a dream,  _ And while your roses are gone, we can grow new ones. Maybe these will be pink, who knows? _

_ I miss my white roses. _

_ I know, but it’s going to be okay. Your garden is going to be okay, it’s all going to be okay. _

Daniel needed to step back from the garden; he’d pushed the flowers too close and now they were suffocating. The calla’s had withered as Bleeding Hearts overcame its roots, and he hadn’t even noticed the suffering until too late; he was too distracted by his own thoughts on how his garden should be that he forgot these flowers are living things too and didn’t obey his whims.

So he was going to see what he could do to help them grow strong and healthy, as was his responsibility. This time, he would do better.

Stephen had never found much use for a large garden, that much he knew. He’d liked to keep his blue Canterbury Bells at the base of his Grandiflora Magnolia bush, a sprinkling of mignonettes all around the outer perimeter. His Forget-me-nots always were kept in pristine condition, with kalmia kept nearby. It was just right for him, the people he needed had their places and he wanted to show them what they meant to him. Each grouping meant something different, begging for understanding.

It was his perfect little garden, organized the way he wanted it. And he loved it. He loved how it looked, loved how everything bled together in an ombre fade.

Flowers came and went, he could always grow new ones, but if he didn’t love his garden for how it was, these flowers weren’t the ones who had to deal with it for their existence. He was.

And if his kalmia didn't want to be a part of his garden, that was fine with him. Sometimes it was healthier to cut a pretty Bleeding Heart than to let it grow until it overtook everything else in the flowerbed. He had to look out for how each of them were growing.

It was okay, having such a small garden, because everyone put in their part to keep it in such a nice form as he helped them. 

His responsibility, first and foremost, was to his own flowers.

When they returned to the inn, Dan set Hosuh down on the bed and reached out to gently move some of his hair out of his face, worry for the smaller male rising in his eyes. It angered Stephen slightly, jealousy flaring in his chest like a raging fire elemental.

Then, it was washed away by Dan’s words.

“Sorry, Stephen. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like I did. I’m not even gonna make an excuse for it.”

“You can’t make an excuse for what was said. But it’s alright, it didn’t hurt; it’s nothing I haven’t said to myself.”

Dan chuckled at the sentiment, standing up and stretching out. “Let me know when he wakes up, okay? I have to go get the townspeople so they know it’s safe to come back.”

“Right.”


	11. Home in your arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Here we are. The final chapter. Enjoy 5k of pure smut!

When he woke up, the first thing Hosuh noticed was that he had been changed out of his robes and into his nightshirt. The next thing he noticed was a heavy weight on his chest. His hair had been brushed, and he assumed it was Stephen’s doing. His body was overly warm, sensitive to the chilled air around him. Looking down with a groan, he saw a blur of purple hair and relaxed.

“Stephen…” He whispered, his voice slightly hoarse. Stephen sat up, the blanket shifting as he moved and stared down at Hosuh with a gentle smile.

“Nice to see you finally woke up, Hos.”

“Nice to be back. Why were you on my chest?”

Stephen’s smile fell, gaze downcast at the bed.

“I had to make sure you were alive. Listening to your heartbeat and just feeling you breathe helped.”

Hosuh chuckled, sitting up carefully. His muscles burned at the strain, and his chuckle turned into a groan of pain. Stephen reached over to hold him up, helping him to stay upright and pull him close. The silver angel leaned up and pressed their lips together, an innocent kiss of purity.

“Well… You promised me something else, if you want to feel me.”

“Hos, you literally just woke up and you already want me to fuck you? What happened to my innocent Hosuh?”

“He got a taste of something he’d been craving for years.” 

Stephen rolled his eyes at Hosuh’s words, laughing to himself mostly. 

“Are you trying to tell me that you’ve never touched yourself before?”

Hosuh’s face went bright red, his silence answering more than words ever could. Stephen blinked a few times, eyes going wide as his heart raced at the thought. Had he really never brought himself to such a state? Never driven himself wild at the mere thought until it became too much and he needed to do something about it? That was severely unhealthy, despite his restraint levels, and Stephen knew it. Still, a dark, twisted part of him wanted to force Hosuh to the brink,make him cry out and scream his name with his voice until he fell into the pitfall of oblivion.

He was going to be the one to do it, if anyone.

Stephen pushed Hosuh back onto the bed, roughly pressing their lips together in a searing kiss. His hand gripped at the cleric’s chin, forcing his mouth open so he could slip his tongue in. Hosuh didn’t put up a fight, he didn’t know how to in this instance, and only squirmed and moaned under his touch. He had to breathe through his nose, heat pooling in his belly as he groaned against Stephen. One arm wrapped around his shoulder despite the strain it caused, and the other led to him gripping at the soft strands of Stephen’s hair.

It was electric, the way they moved together. Hosuh had never felt this way before, the desire to be held down and fucked in such an obscene way he’d never be allowed in a church again. Stephen had always made jokes about sucking cock, and the thought made Hosuh moan and arch his back. He’d only ever imagined about doing such things, and the urge to repeat his mantra to himself arose within him, but with it came something else.

Stephen’s hands were sliding up his shirt, breaking the kiss and moving to bite at his neck, leaving little marks that were blooming into bursts of colors on the pale skin. Such beautiful bruises.    
“St-Stephen, I wanna… Mn- Let me-” Hosuh asked, arching his back into the other’s touch as he began to pinch at his nipples. He felt the smirk against his neck, and knew Stephen was enjoying teasing him.

“But you’re hurt. And before you ask, this is called foreplay. I’m going to make this good for you, so lay back and just enjoy it. Oh, and if you are going to come before we get to the main event, well…” His voice dipped into a deeper, darker tone laced with mischief, reaching just under his ear before whispering in a voice hotter than Hosuh could ever imagine. 

“We’ll just have to train you for better endurance, huh? Fuck you over, and over again until you’re dry. Doesn’t that sound like fun~?”

Oh fuck. He wanted that. He wanted it so badly. Legs spread and a clothed knee slid in between, letting the silverette grind his hard cock up into it as a spike of pleasure shot through him.

“Ah, ah, ahn- Stephen, please-”

“This hard already? Jeez, Hos, we’re not teenagers. Bet you’ve thought about this, haven’t you? So dirty. Everyone thinks you’re as pure as snow, but you’re just as perverted and dirty as me, aren’t you? You wanna be fucked, and fucked hard like a two copper whore.” 

He didn’t need to hear the moan to know he was right. He didn’t need to see the way Hosuh’s face contorted into embarrassed submission, trying to hide his shame in the pillow. He only needed to feel the twitch of his cock against his thigh, feel the way he rutted up into any contact he got graciously. The others were just bonuses.

He pulled away from the other, one hand supporting him and the other mercilessly pinching, rubbing and tugging on the pink bud under his fingertips. Against the soft sheets, his fingers found Hosuh’s silver ribbon and pulled it away, watching as the remnants of his ponytail now splayed out around him.

“I- nghhh- Oh fuck, I want it, I want it, I want you to fuck me, please-” Hosuh’s desperate whispers sent blood rushing to his cock, so hard it was beginning to get painful. The curse easily slipped through his lips without his bidding, allowing himself to let that facade of innocence fade away. Stephen’s lips were against his own again, lips parted immediately to allow for invasion as the hand which had been playing with his right nipple swapped, the raw nub rubbing against the cotton of his nightshirt. There was a tightening in his gut, a sensation all too new as he bucked his hips, the stinging pain a delicious feeling as the flame was stoked, thoughts racing as all his attention went to his partner. Thoughts of him touching him, of how exquisite it would be to have his cock in his mouth, tears streaming down his face-

“Not yet, Hos.” Stephen whispered against his lips, pulling away from him and lifting his hands in the air, the ribbon from his hair dangling in his right hand.

The sob which wracked his body was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, bucking his hips into the air and reaching down to touch himself for just a moment before the freedom of his hands was stripped from him, his partner only needing one hand to apprehend both of his own. Words were nothing, only cries could escape his lips in desperate pleas for more, more of the saccharine pleasure he had just a second ago.

“I’m gonna tie you up, and if you’re gonna keep being a naughty brat like this, Hos, I might just have to do this to you a few more times until you’ve learned your lesson,” Stephen threatened, taking the ribbon and wrapping the strip of silky fabric around the cleric’s wrist above his head. Hosuh’s head fell back, silver strands marring his vision as they stuck to his tears. He’d never done any of this before, and Stephen knew that, he was just being a pain. “We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself, now would we? Stay put while I go get something.” 

“Wh-What’re you going to get?” Hosuh asked, finally finding the words despite his frustration as the denial of touch caused the fire to settle a little. 

“Another ribbon and some special oil.” Stephen admitted, leaning over to kiss Hosuh’s forehead in such a gentle manner that he felt a new wave of tears coming, just from how overwhelmed he was feeling. Two days ago, he’d never have thought he’d actually be in this position, be in a place to be loved by Stephen. When he pulled away, it left an empty feeling to fester within him even though he could see where he was, walking over to their bags.

“Uhm, Stephen?” He began tentatively, squirming on the bed, “Are you okay? You haven’t been touched at all during this,”

Stephen audibly laughed, shrugging off his clothes and revealing his toned body once again. It was the same body, the same musculature and confidence which begged a pious man to sin. Hosuh had been warned, ever since he was a child, that people like Stephen would take advantage of him, their raw sexual draw enough to do him in, but he didn’t care. Temptations only went so far until someone broke, and Hosuh had been tempted from the day he’d first seen Stephen naked.

“Is that an offer, Hos? As much as I’d love to see you sucking my dick, I think it’d break you before you knew what you were doing.” He teased, the purple robes having fallen to the floor with his shirt. The pants, too tight for his or any viewer’s good, clung to him in such an obscene way that Hosuh felt a surge of arousal rush through him, white fluid leaking from the tip of his cock again. He was going to be so sticky by the end of this, he knew, but he did not give a damn.

“Maybe next time,” Hosuh chuckled, testing the bond of the ribbon. He could break out of it, if he really wanted to, but he didn’t. He didn’t care enough to. Didn’t want to, either. But as he had to blow his bangs out of his face for what felt like the hundredth time in the last two minutes, the annoyance of how long it was rose again. He was thankful for the few ribbons he had to tie his hair back with.

“There’ll always be a next time, you know. I don’t plan on letting you get away.”

He walked back over to the bed, items in hand. Hosuh didn’t recognize the vial of oil in his hand, but it was clear and unlike anything he’d seen in his cooking utensils, so it was likely that it was meant for things like sex. Stephen had chosen the pale blue embroidered ribbon from his bag, the one that Hosuh always wore if they were going to be trekking through dangerous terrain as it refused to slip or untie itself due to all the embroidery. If he was going to be moving as much as he thought he was, he was going to need it. 

“Okay, so you’re going to need to tie my hair, I can’t with my wrists like this.” 

The glint in Stephen’s eye made him freeze, realizing just how wrong he was. That ribbon wasn’t meant for his hair, it seemed, if the smirk accompanying a teasing hum was anything to go by. And this night was going to be longer than he’d expected. 

“Just relax, Hos, I’m gonna take care of you,” Stephen promised, setting the vial of oil off to the side of the bed before leaning in for another kiss. Hosuh felt his shirt being pulled up over his chest, revealing his body to the chilled air. He shuddered as his attentions went into not making a fool of himself, squirming underneath Stephen and bucking his hips against him as the fire was stoked once again. 

The kiss was too short for their liking, but Hosuh’s bright red cheeks and swollen lips were well worth it. He began kissing down his body, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch as Hosuh’s moans made their way to his ears in such a wonderful melody. He’d always imagined how soft Hosuh’s skin would be, but he was surprised to feel a bit of resistance. He’d toned in recent years, yes, but it only made him all the more enticing. 

When he reached his hips, he pressed a soft kiss to the base of Hosuh's cock and relished in the high pitched sound he got in return and the twitch of his thighs around his shoulders. "Relax, Hos," he whispered, watching as Hosuh's entire body shook at the cold air on his sensitive skin, "We'll get there." 

"I'm just, haaaahhhh- not… not used to this?" 

"I know. So we're going to do something to keep things from ending too soon, okay?" 

"M'kay…" 

Stephen pulled back, using the weight of his arm to keep Hosuh’s hips down and in place while he tied the ribbon around the base of his partner’s cock. The sight was intoxicating, watching Hosuh squirm against the bonds on his wrists and attempt to protest against his superior strength. If Hosuh wanted to make him stop, he need only say the word and he knew that, but he wasn’t. Obviously, he wanted this. He’d wanted this for so long that it hurt; the need, the  _ want  _ to be close to him. It couldn’t be measured by the heavens or the hells, the desire between two people truly made for another. 

“Damnit Stephen, what the heck?” Hosuh asked, the edge in his voice sharp as a knife as he looked down at his own cock, wrapped prettily with a bow. 

“It’s going to keep you from coming until I say so. Simple.” 

“I-I don’t get it?” 

“You will.” He shrugged, leaning back down and placing a kiss to the tip. Hosuh’s body jerked, and Stephen needed to hold his hips down with more fervor than before. “Stay still if you can? I know you can crush my head with your thighs,” He wanted to test that one day, honestly, “But I’d really appreciate living long enough to actually fuck you.”

“Ah-! Sorry!” Hosuh forced his legs apart, trying to control the urge to press them together in embarrassment. The thought of Stephen between his legs made his face burn and the heat pooling in his gut only grow, stoking the raging fire. Temptations, temptations, down to the abyss they go. 

And then Stephen, without warning, took the head into the wet heat of his mouth, and Hosuh couldn’t help the attempted bucking of his hips. When his partner chuckled as he delved in, hollowing out his cheeks, a rush of pleasure surged through him and it only intensified when his tongue pressed against the underside.    
He wanted to look down, but he knew he really shouldn’t, if only for his own heart. He’d never be able to set foot in a church again if he did, the image would be burned into his mind for all of eternity and if that wasn’t the hottest thing which had ever crossed his mind, he didn’t recall what was. The pressure was beginning to become painful, pleasure mingling with the line of agony thinner than thread as it had before when Stephen stopped letting him grind against him, though his frantic movements were still restrained in this position.

Letting out a curse, he silently wished he had done this sort of thing before. Then Stephen wouldn’t be doing this to him, he wouldn’t need to have controls put onto him to ensure this lasted.

But he didn’t want it to stop. He absolutely didn’t want it to stop. 

It continued for what felt like eternity, of Stephen taking him in as deep as he could without disturbing the ribbon, only to pull away when the balancing act of pain and pleasure delved too far into the former. How he knew, Hosuh would never understand, but he was thankful all the same. It never hurt enough to ask him to stop, he was too damn good at this.

And then he fully pulled off, taking a deep breath of air. Hosuh dared a glance down, finding the other man’s face as red as his own felt. A smile came to his features as he panted, despite the line having gotten even thinner with whatever Stephen did. 

Stephen didn’t understand the words coming from his partner. Some of his friends would, but he only could pick out a few select terms. His name and Alright. The thought made him smile, a laugh building in his throat which he couldn’t stop slipping past his lips.

“Hos, I suck your dick and you ask if I’m alright? Man, you’re weird. I doubt you can really handle common right now, so just say my name.” He gently reached over with his non dominant hand, pulling at the knot for Hosuh’s restraints, only to take one hand in his own, refusing to intertwine their fingers just yet. “If you need me to stop, just squeeze three times and I’ll stop. M’kay? Or just teach me what stop is in your language.”

Hosuh nodded, understanding what he was saying even if the words in common wouldn’t reach his mouth.  _ Jeongji; Stop _ . When Stephen pulled his hand away to grab the vial of oil, his curiosity peaked, though he didn’t voice it as he heard his heartbeat in his ears. He coated a few fingers in the substance, settling himself back between Hosuh’s legs and tapping the inside of his thighs with his dry hand, signaling him to part them for what was to come. Hosuh had read that, sometimes, this part could hurt, and tensed in anticipation with a whisper of his partner’s name.

“Just relax; I’m going to take my time so you don’t get hurt. It’ll all be okay, but you need to relax.” Soothing circles were traced on his hips as Stephen placed one finger at Hosuh’s entrance, rubbing it ever so gently to coax him into relaxation. He watched as Hosuh took a few deep breaths, his whole body shaking and his grip on the sheets loosening just a smidge, took note of how his erection hadn’t flagged at all during their talking, and carefully pressed one finger in while watching Hosuh’s face for any signs of obvious pain. 

His face scrunched up just a bit, and he squirmed against it, but he didn’t seem to be in pain. Stephen leaned down and kissed at Hosuh’s neck, refusing to leave marks unless told he could, whispering words of praise against his skin. He knew, logically, that Hosuh probably only understood around half of what he was saying, but it didn’t deter him from speaking his mind. He remembered what it felt like, the first time he’d ever been touched there, and he steeled his resolve to ensure this was a good experience for him. To make Hosuh enjoy this, to want this, to want  _ him.  _ Again and again.

As soon as the first finger was fully in, and Hosuh relaxed, he began thrusting it shallowly and feeling around for a certain bundle of nerves. He didn’t expect to find it until at least two fingers, so he focused his efforts into keeping Hosuh calm. As he expected, Hosuh’s mind was slowly recouping with the odd sensations, allowing for common language to spill past his lips once again.

“Feels weird,” He whispered, fighting the urge to move away from the invasion, “Is this… Normal?”

“Feeling weird when doing this? Oh yeah. It feels weird the first few times, depending on how often you do it. For now, though, let me take control and take care of you. We’ll get there, and it’ll feel good soon.”

Hosuh nodded, taking a deep breath. He quickly kissed Stephen, smiling as he did, and let the feeling of warmth wash over his body as he began to calm. As desperate as he was, the mask which he had built over the years to hide his urges forced him into the submission he now found himself in. He needed to control himself, wanted to do his best for his partner, wanted to not make a fool of himself so Stephen wouldn’t realise that he could do so much better than Hosuh. 

It was a selfish desire, he knew and understood, but he couldn’t shake it. He couldn’t let go of the fear that Stephen would be done with him once this was over, once he’d ensured his power stayed his own, but it was quelled by the overwhelming love and adoration in his heart. As self centered as Stephen could be, he wasn’t the kind of person to do this without follow through. It was one of the things Hosuh loved so much about him. 

He barely even noticed as the uncomfortable pressure faded into a confusing type of pleasure, too engrossed in his thoughts of adoration for the person who was doing it to him. Their lips met again as he slipped in a second finger, the pressure returning. But this time, the light burn as he was stretched out made him moan softly, rolling his hips to greet each shallow movement. It came in soft waves, teasing the shore of the beach of what he knew could be achieved. His cock strained against the ribbon and he longed to take it off, though one hand was too busy gripping at Stephen’s hair to do so and the other was holding his again. He was sure that once things really got started, he would lose himself and his linguistics to the flames engulfing him slowly once again. 

A third finger entered his body, making him let out a soft whimper into his partner’s mouth at the feeling as it tipped slightly too much towards the edge of pain, until his fingers crooked and the wave became a tsunami. His body jolted, a loud noise came from his throat as he pressed against something new. The flames met the waves in a cacophony as it melded into greek fire, water only increasing the heat which engulfed his being. 

“Ah- Ahhhn! Oh fu- What was that?” He whispered softly, barely holding onto the common in between moans and expletives which slipped out. 

Stephen didn’t respond with words, instead with a bruising kiss and tapping his fingers against the spot rapidly.

A scream tore into the room, hips bucking into the pleasure as if desperate for more. Muscles went taut, his hand was squeezed as a reaction as Hosuh’s head fell back against the pillows, back arched in such a way that must be painful. A knot had quickly formed in his stomach, tears streaming down his face as he swore he saw stars behind his shut eyes. He couldn’t care if anyone heard him, if he was being selfish or even if the Gods themselves came down and ordered him to stop, he wanted this- He needed this- What was this feeling beginning to overwhelm him? Why wouldn’t it stop? Every nerve became alight as his mind teetered over blankness once again, but it refused to snap. Something was stopping him and he begged for it to stop to let it stop so he could finally-- 

The pleasure stopped, his breathing heavy as he looked up at his partner, seeing his worried face and blearily wondering if he’d caused it. He didn’t quite understand what was being said, mind too hazy to process the words until he could breathe properly again. 

When he returned to his senses, he understood why Stephen looked so worried.

“Are you okay? Hos please, I know you can hear me, just answer me! I can’t lose-” 

“M’okay…” He whispered, the common broken and janky but it was enough to release the tension in Stephen’s body as he sighed, though the fear in his eyes remained, “Why’d you stop?”

“Huh?” His head tilted in confusion, eyebrow quirking in the way which always made Hosuh’s heart flutter, “You squeezed my hand three times. That means stop. I thought I”d hurt you or that something was wrong.”

A chuckle came from Hosuh, though his breathing wasn’t quite even yet, “It felt good. If I want you to stop, I’ll say  _ jeongji.”  _ He leaned up and kissed his cheek, moving quickly to his ear to whisper softly and use the hand which had been in his hair to feel over the bulge in Stephen’s pants, “Now, please fuck me. I’m ready.”

Stephen cursed, pulling him in close by the small of his back once again as he rutted his hips against his hand, only for the teasing angel to squeeze lightly. This man knew just how to drive him up a wall with desire, more than any demon could ever tempt him with. So he shimmied out of his trousers, hissing as his cock was exposed to the cool air, and let Hosuh fall back against the bed before moving to kneel atop him, maneuvering the pale man’s legs slightly so they wrapped around his waist. That would give him the most leverage with the least chance for Hosuh to accidentally hurt someone with his twitching. 

“Last chance to back out, Hos,” He whispered as he coated his member in the oil, pressing up against his entrance. He watched as Hosuh shuddered, pale blue eyes staring up at him.

“Not happening. Now, please?” 

He made sure to take it slow, letting himself be enveloped by the velvet heat of Hosuh’s body inch by inch. Every bone in his body screamed for him to fully sink into him, to thrust in as fast as he could and go to town on his ass. But he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He had more self control than that. Even if it was more tempting than power could ever be, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t hurt him like that. 

Hosuh shook as he gently took it in, the overwhelming pressure soon becoming too much for him to handle, squeezing Stephen’s hand to let him know he needed a moment to breathe before they could continue on. As soon as he was adjusted, he let him continue in. This repeated a few more times until he was fully seated, his body shaking. It didn’t hurt, it was only uncomfortable, but he couldn’t make it go away. It wasn’t adjusting the same way, the pressure wasn’t lessening. What had Stephen done before to make it easier? He hadn’t--

“Move, Stephen,” He whined, hiding his face in the pillow again. As soon as his partner began moving, the pressure lessened and slowly turned into pleasure, which made his hips buck up against him, shifting the angle slightly. The thrusts started out slow, languid almost as he started to get used to the feeling. When pressure had been there, pleasure soon bloomed in the most wondrous of ways. His whole body sung in pleasure as the tempo built faster, holding onto his partner as the bed began to creak underneath them. 

Stephen didn’t expect Hosuh to last long before falling into the realm of the unspeakable, but this was getting ridiculous. He’d edged him a bit, yes, and he’d admit to his fair share of teasing, but there was no reason for Hosuh to be so sensitive. He’d been joking before, when he’d thought that Hosuh had never pleasured himself, but now he realized how real it was. The thought only spurred him on further, beginning to pound harshly against his partner. He wanted to aim for the bundle of nerves he’d found before, to make Hosuh go so far into overstimulation that it became simply too much for his body to handle, but a nagging voice in the back of his mind warned him against it. Maybe next time they did this, they could do that, but Hosuh seemed so wired as he practically thrashed against the bed that he didn’t need to. 

Hosuh looked so exquisite, practically fucking himself as they developed a rhthym together. If someone walked in on them, they didn’t care, and they certainly didn’t care what the hell they thought. In that moment, it was only each other, absorbed in their presence and unity. 

Their bodies moved in tandem, Stephen guiding Hosuh along as he pounded into him. His head spun, moving ever closer to the edge he knew oh so well. There would be time for long bouts of lovemaking at a later date, to take their time and learn each other’s bodies, but this wasn’t the day. If Hosuh wasn’t too sore tomorrow, they could do so then.

Hosuh cried out suddenly, his whole body tensing as tears fell from his eyes and his knuckles went white as he gripped at the sheets and Stephen’s hand, twitching and digging his heels against his back. His obscene moans covered the slapping of skin on skin, mind blanking as tremors wracked his body. He wordlessly begged for- something, Stephen couldn’t quite make out what it was, but he understood what his body was telling him. 

He reached down and untied the ribbon around Hosuh’s cock, hearing the near scream which came from his partner at the small amount of stimulation. 

Hosuh was sure that this was what nirvana felt like, so intense and white hot as it tore through his body. His mind was blank, unable to focus on anything other than the sensations which enveloped him in the most amazing ways, the pain from the raging fire gone as it snapped, warmth filling him. Black spots filled his vision, barely registering that Stephen was kissing him as every muscle in his body tensed, too full, too much, too good. He wanted more, more, more, he couldn’t breathe-! 

And then there was nothing, falling again into unconsciousness.

Stephen had expected this, even as he came down from the high of his own orgasm. He knew that particularly intense orgasms could cause people to black out, especially if it had been a while. As he carefully pulled out, hissing at the sensation, he focused on checking Hosuh’s breathing. As soon as he touched the other man, the pale body jerked away with oversensitivity. Stephen smiled, watching Hosuh’s chest rise and fall rapidly, keeping the panic at bay. There was a small part of him which wanted to check his pulse, to make sure he wasn’t going to leave again, though he knew it wasn’t worth it. 

A searing pain shot through his arm, causing him to cry out and grip the appendage tightly, watching in morbid fascination as runes appeared onto his skin in violet lettering, wrapping around his arm in twisting patterns. The power he’d craved for so long was finally his, forever. A dark chuckle came from him, building from soft whispers to racotious laughter; he’d honestly forgotten about the deal, too immersed in the events of the last day and a half, but this was a bonus he hadn’t taken into account. Amazingly, the pain faded after half a second, and he could only stare as the runes faded into pale scars. He’d always found it interesting, watching how demonic magic worked almost seamlessly into his skin and imbued itself into his veins.

He couldn’t dwell on it. He had to take care of Hosuh now, make sure he was clean and into some warm clothes before he could get some rest. 

Once Hosuh had been cleaned up in the warm bath, having not woken up throughout the whole process, Stephen pulled him in close under the covers and kissed his forehead, fingers intertwined and whisperings of his adoration upon his lips. He’d never thought he’d get the chance to hold an angel in his arms and say he loved him back, but for the first time in his life, he was glad that he was wrong.

Because this reality, forbidden as it may be by Heaven and Hell alike, was better than any dream he could fathom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with this fic, I know it's not the thing for everyone and maybe I stuck a bit too hard to DnD rules, but I wanted to create that feel of the game and learning with the players. I'm not sure I succeeded, but hopefully, it was a nice read for you all! Thank you again! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you enjoyed this and have a nice day! :D


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